Mommy and Daddy "alone time"

The neighbor just asked my kids to go down to the beach with them and I came over to verify.

Jase says to neighbor mom, "It's good that you asked us, mom and dad need alone time. That's why I play over here so much, they need their alone time."

WHAT THE....

We have never even said "alone time" ROFL!

We never even...*insert imagination*...during the day. The mom just stared at me and if crickets had chirped it would have been appropriate.

Jase, my sweet, you better pray that I die or become mute before you have children of your own because I'm coming at you full force!

"In the crack?"

While we were camping last week, I took Jase to the showers to clean her up a little. I was telling her to make sure she washed her bum and hoo haa. She kinda rubbed the outside of her butt so I said "wash in between honey."

Eyes wide: "In between? In my crack? I don't wanna stick my hand in there, there's all kinds of stuff in there!"

Hence the reason I want you to "stick your hand in there" and wash it!