Funnies of the week!

Jase: When I was subbing this week the principle came into my room after school was out and I was cleaning up. Jase was in with me and he said to her..."wow you are very pretty! what cute dimples!"

To which Jase replied, *sigh* "Hey mista! I don't have nipples!!"

Mase: His FAVORITE thing to do is to call my name a million times until I finally answer him. Well I had been getting mad and eventually yelling "WHAT???" at him. So he found a way to break me by answering my mean yelling "WHAT?!" with "I just wanted to say I love you." *gulp*

Bren: HAD to have a bra....had to have one. Her nipples were rubbing against her shirt and she is sensitive there. So we got her one...well one of those little girl ones. So in the middle of her basketball game she runs over to me in the stands and I am thinking "what are you doing??"

She reaches in her shirt and takes her bra out through her sleeve and hands it to me....saying "here, I forgot to take it off."

Me: Um Bren, it's and athletic bra, you were supposed to wear it in the game.
Her: (looking at me like I'm an idiot) MOM! Ugh...nevermind just take it.

LOL....still haven't figured out that one!

The Neighbor Kid From Hell!

So we just moved into our new house. The kids and I are really loving it.
Then my ds meets this boy that he knows from school...YAY he has a friend his own age! NOT! This kid needs a spankin and I may just do it and risk getting arrested!

My oldest, Bren, comes in and says,
"Ok Mom, this kid is out of control...he said crap about 50 times, he tried to kick Mase in the nuts and said "NUTS", and the clencher....he said my dog was ugly! Get rid of him or I'm gonna punch his lights out!"

Well, first, her dog is ugly...so the kid is being honest there. LOL But I get onto him and then he behaves.

Well this morning, I get up and let the ugly dog out...hee hee...and just as I shut the door and turn around IT OPENS! The little butthead just walks in, and luckily I was wearing PJs!! I told him how rude that was and sent him on his way and I think he is terrified to come over anymore, but GEE WIZ!

I never would have imagined such a small little boy could be such a pain in my butt!

OH MY GOSH...Call in the Speech Therapist!

So Jase can't say her Rs. No problem AT ALL until we come to the word "PURSE"! Yep, use your imagination people!

So she goes around telling everyone that I bought Bren a **** and not her and that she doesn't have a ****.

My dad is still laughing about it!

And to answer a question from my last post....actually YES I am missing the ocean. Of course it might be because I am sitting here in 36 degree weather with a mother going through radiation who is having hot flashes so she's freezing out the rest of us. LOL But I do miss the sound of the ocean, the beauty and power of it, and the fun we had at the beaches. But I'll take my cold and sore throat ANYDAY over having to spend one more day on that stupid island. LOL

Jase Did It!

Well Jase did it! She snuck a bottle of kid perfume in a bag and the security in Puerto Rico gave me the WHAT FOR! I was already running late for my plane and then I was held up.....grrrrrr!

So when they pulled it out Jase said "That's my makeup!" *all smiles* But the security guy wasn't all smiles at all. I felt like an idiot for not knowing what my kids packed.....it was a winning moment!

Big Ol Brain Fart

So my dh is a med student....which apparently can ruin your brain. LOL This was our conversation yesterday.

Hub: You know how they say "a,e,i,o,u, and sometimes y"....I can't think of a time when it isn't a vowel.
(notice the bold Ys)
Me: You can't? Hmmm...Yesterday....Yellow....Yak....Yolk....YoYo....

Hub: Ok...OK. (feeling stupid)

Me: So was that enough for You?

Hub: Yes. (sulks off)

*snicker*

How Does It Look?

My blog that is? I thought it appropriate since we are ocean junkies for the time being. But it was super hard figuring it out on my own...I might have said a bad word or two.

So my Kid Funny does NOT come from my own kids today....it comes from a little boy I babysit. He is 6, with a thick Polish accent (think Dexter from Dexter's Laboratory), and he looks like a 70 yr old man LOL.

He LOVES women!! Seriously, I can sometimes feel him undressing me with his eyes and it is VERY unnerving! He's a sweet little boy but man is he a dirty little thing already.

So he was with his parents on the French side of the island, and they were standing near a group of 3 French women, nearly naked. So this little boy goes over to the women and circles them, drooling, and saying "oh sexy...hot mama" and other things. And before his dad could discipline him, he landed a big wet kiss on one of their butts. His parents were horrified, the women were laughing, and he was being dragged off...tongue to his knees...smiling a drunk little smile.

I am SOOOOOO glad I was not the one with him! But we seriously sit in Time Out 4 or 5 times a week due to him trying to kiss my girls or for calling me Sexy. *sigh* My oldest dd blacked his eye by moving at the very last minute when he closed his eyes and went in for the kiss...he landed in a pucker on a chair with his head. Poor little guy! LOL

In Honor of 9/11...

Christopher Hugh Forsythe










Christopher Hugh Forsythe was 44 years old when he died in the Twin Towers 5 years ago this month. He had moved to Basking Ridge, New Jersey, just three years prior, but Chris had worked in places such as Madrid and Mexico before settling in New Jersey. He was originally from Longon, England. Chris worked as a Foreign Exchange Money Broker employed by Cantor Fitzgerald.

It took 3 alarm clocks to wake Chris up in the morning. His wife, Tessie Molina, would tease him about his morning waking habits. Between the two they had two teenagers: Mrs. Molina's son, Jose, and Chris' daughter, Kirsten. The couple mainly spoke Spanish in the home, though it took Chris a while to catch up to Tessie's speed in the language.

You couldn't help but be humbled by all the comments left on various sites on the internet about Chris. One friend, simply labeled Mark, says of Chris and a friend that died along with Chris that day, "again what can one say about "fosdick" [Chris] when i entered the city in 1986. he along with the sadly missed cossack, took me for my 1st lunch...the city sadly lacks characters like these... " On another site, I suddenly found it hard to swallow that lump in my throat when I found regularly posted messages from Kirsten to her father. During my research I tried to keep emotions out and take an objective approach, but after learning of Chris' character and of how many people loved him, I couldn't help but feel sorry for those he left behind. Chris was a good man...you can't research him and not learn that.

It is an honor to be a part of this wonderful tribute to those that fell 5 years ago on American soil. I knew no one on a personal basis that died on 9/11, though I cried for all those that lost their lives. However, after this, I will now carry Chris with me. And just like all the others, his spirit lives on in the voices and memories of his friends and loved ones. It is our duty as Americans to take the time to remember them...it is the very least we can do.

Where ever you are Christopher, you are loved and missed greatly!

__________________________________________________________________

http://www.cnn.com/SPECIALS/2001/memorial/people/2580.html
http://www.legacy.com/Sept11.asp?Page=TributeStory&PersonId=145322
http://www.september11victims.com/september11victims/VictimInfo.asp?ID=1093

To view the entire list of the 2996 that are being honored this month, please visit:
http://www.dcroe.com/2996/?page_id=2

Let's talk smells....

Today I was putting on my makeup in the bathroom and Jace comes in to potty. A few minutes pass and I say, "whoa, you stink!"

Her innocent reply, "No Mom! My body smells good...it's my butt that stinks."

LOL!!

Bren is out of character and not performing much this week. My mom was diagnosed with breast cancer last week and Bren wanted to know the truth so I told her. And today her hero fell...Steve Irwin. She learned from him, loved him, and idolized him. He is the reason I have had to practically give CPR to all dying creatures around my house for the past several years. So between the death of her hero and having to face the mortality of her closest grandma...she is in need of prayers and thoughts. She asked me through tears if she could write a letter to Steve's family thanking him for teaching her...gulp...now how can I turn her down!

Get 'em Where it Hurts!

And that is EXACTLY what it did too!

We went swimming yesterday and my little Mase was stung by a jellyfish on his penis and down his scrotum! Yep! I felt so BAD for him. The stupid thing swam up there and got him good!

He came out of the water and ran toward me with his suit dropped to the groung and package in hand screaming. It was all red and swollen...and I am a bad mom and forgot the vinegar! Duh!

He is better today...but he said he wants a speedo for a swimsuit like the French kids so, and I quote, "nothing can get in there and sting my stuff!"

In Case You Didn't Know....

My younger two NEVER actually peed the bed. They "sweated".

That's what Mase and Jace have always claimed when they woke up to a wet bed..."I didn't pee pee, I sweated cuz I was hot."

So the Hub had to go sleep with Mase the other night cuz he was having a bad dream and I wasn't budging from my soft bed. In the morning both he and Mase were sopping wet (the Hub let him have a drink after 9pm...duh).

I asked the Hub what happened, and he said, "Mom, Mase and I sweated on the sheets cuz it was super hot in here." The deadpan look cracked me up! My two boys standing in their wet underwears looking guilty as heck...one for supplying the drink and the other for "sweating" in the bed...it was a Kodak moment!

I'm sorry...But did that just come from YOU??

I will admit it...though not proudly...we are a gassy family. No really, you have NO idea!

I being the least mind you, the other four are totally Truckers! Even our cat Kiko can run you out of the room.

Let me elaborate. One day while traveling home from church, all of a sudden this thumping starts. The Hub is looking around at the car, I am with him thinking "Oh no...another flat!" The noise grows louder and we actually start to pull over. Only now the whole back seat is suddenly roaring with laughter...and as the laughter grows the thumping gets faster and is finally recognizable.

Me: Bren! WAS THAT YOU?????
The Hub: NO WAY! That was HER?
Bren: (laughing uncontrollably) Uh huh! (tears are streaming from her eyes)

Seriously, we actually thought we should have her examined by a doctor after that. The Hub still high fives her for it. *sigh*

Oh ok...here's another one. The Hub lets one go one day and my son, Mase, yells out: "Hey! That sounded like that duck!"
Bren: Oh yeah it did! Aflack! (said in her best impression)

Oh then we had laughing and more attempts at recreating the "aflack duck" sound AND NOT WITH THEIR MOUTHS! *yet another sigh* Did I mention the Hub is in on it? I didn't...well he is.

Even my 4 yr old Jace passes gas like a big ole Truck Stop Trucker...on command...*sniff*

The only time I really enjoy them damaging the Ozone with their trumpeting is when we are around the Hub's parents...who don't draw attention to such things, even when my mother in law let's them slip all the time and everyone in the room keeps deadpan faces. Because it is MY children (said proudly now) that point it out.

"Eww grandma you pooted!" "Grandma pooted!"

Oh yes, revenge is so very very sweet! (my thought as I exclaim "children, that is rude, stop that"...but I put little effort in stopping them. *evil giggle*)

From Tornado Alley to Hurricane Valley

That is what we did when we moved. From one worry to another. At least with hurricanes you get a few days warning so you can actually leave. Though some choose to stay, and I won't even bother with the logic in that.

Anyway, so because we have lived in these two very active places (mother nature wise), my kids are a bit...how shall I say...SCARED TO FREAKIN DEATH of storms. And today I hear that we have a wonderful Tropical Storm Chris coming our way, should hit us by 1am. Now I experienced TS Denis and TS Cindy last season...they came through at the same time, one on top of us and one on bottom so we got quite a storm. It was scary and loud but it wasn't dangerous. Just a ton of wind, loud thunder, lightening, and buckets of rain. Basically a Texas thunderstorm would have laughed at this storm, but still it was exciting.

Ok back tot he kids...I cannot tell them a TS is headed our way or we will have nervous breakdown, dramatic fainting, talking in tongues--you get the point. So I am quietly trying to go stock up on water for drinking (we have bottles for flushing and washin...if the waves get too bad the island shuts the power and water off), and I just KNOW they will eventually figure it out, but I am hoping that it's not until the storm hits and I can just say "oh it's a thunderstorm, no biggie".

We plan on shutting the hurricane shutters so they won't see the trees blowing or the waves in the lagoon. Ugh! Dramatic kids are so high maintenance!!!!

That's what I should have chosen for names for my kids: Bren is Betty Davis, Jace is Marylin Monroe, and Mase is...hmmm...was there an overly dramatic male actor back in the day????

**UPDATE** The TS turned right before us and we only had rain, wind, and a little thunder. But one thunder was pretty loud and Bren was sound asleep on the futon and I was on the couch (listening) and when she heard it she jumped out of bed (1/2 asleep) but the blanket was wrapped around her feet so she didn't have feet to land on and ended up falling and them rolling across the floor before finally standing up UNDER the table and banging her head. I was laughing so hard I thought I was going to pee my pants. Bren, however, was not...but then when she felt safe she was cracking up. ROFL!

How Sweet is That! (dripping in sarcasm)

So Bren is watching the Miss Universe Pageant with me...after all St. Martin was on there (though she didn't make it to the top 20).

So the bathing suit contest is going on and Bren says,

"Mom, I don't want you skinny, I like you... you know...the way you are...not inesquick looking."

(she learned about Anorexia recently so she meant it nicely...just couldn't say it LOL!) However, I am still wondering what "the way you are" means. LOL!

My Hubby is the Cutest Thing EVER!

No, this isn't a post about my kids....Shocking, I know, since this blog was created for them. However, they have been underperforming lately, which makes me happy and very very scared all at the same time. Could something big be building up?????


Anyway, back to my husband. So he and I have these authors that we LOVE. They write as a team and not only scare the living heck out of you, but then they give scientific fact on how it could actually happen IN REAL LIFE! Not cheesy horror, but real horror. Why do I torture myself? WHO KNOWS!

So I recently ordered their latest novel and had it shipped here. Hubby read it in one night...stayed up and couldn't put it down. So I am reading it last night and noticed that ever so often there are notes in the margin. Little love notes, or silly notes, notes that hinted to the ending and then a chapter later said "just kidding". I found myself wanting to turn the page to see if there was a new note, and kept reading until I found just "one more". LOL

So he is officially the cutest thing EVER today...he is just not like that either...so perhaps he wants something??? *giggle*

Who is her mother????!!!!!

I hate to do another post so soon, but Jace completely EMBARRASSED me today!

We were asked by my husband's medical school to be interviewed on camera for a marketing campaign they are doing. The kids were to be with us. So we got all dressed up and practiced our good behavior...you know the bit.

Well they wanted to interview the kids first, ask them all about life here on the island and what they like best. They asked each kid to say their name and spell it. This is how it went:

Bren: "My name is Bren B-R-E-N."
Mase: "My name is Mase M-A-S-E."
Jace: "My name is Jace....ummm.....A-S-S."

She's THREE! She doesn't know how to spell her name, but apparently she can spell ass!!

ROFLMBO!!!! They said they'd edit that out...after they got through wiping their tears of laughter.

A Testicle Post!

So Mase was standing there naked after a shower and said. "Mom, what are these hanging under my private?" (pulling his penis up to his ears so I can see under it)

Me, "Those are your testicles."

Him, "What's that?"

Me, "Well they are little balls inside a sac...and they are just under you penis."

Him, "Uh no, this is my private."

Me, "No your privates are the whole thing...that is your penis and those are your testicles."

Him, "But you don't have testicles, right Mom?"

Me (refraining from saying HELL YES I DO...I have more balls than your father sometimes!) "No honey, just you and your dad and other boys."

Poor, Poor, Momma D!

My mom is called Momma D by her grandchildren. She is really the BEST grandma ever...besides her mom who was my grandma and she is hard to beat!

Anyway, she has 16 grandkids and 10 great grandkids (give her take a couple)...so she is destined for moments like this:

One of her great grandaughters was staying the night with her and they were lying in bed watching a movie. Somehow they got on the subject of being old and my mom said, "Hey! Momma D's not old!"

Her ggd saidso simply and lovingly, "No, you're not old Momma D...but your neck is." My mom now puts anti-aging creams on her neck! LOL

It just reminds me of the times when I played with the loose skin on the back of my Mammaw's arms, or loved to jiggle her earlobes. I dread the day when something looks old on me and my grandkids point it out.

Jace is bad enough at pointing out my flaws NOW!

RUN SON....I'll sacrifice myself!!!!!!!!

We were standing in the rotunda in my husband's medical school and I was speaking with a group of female students. Unfortunately, they were a group of severe feminists. Why is that unfortunate? Well, because I have children that can't keep their traps shut!

My son walks up to me and says, "Mom, why is that girl wearing that thing around her neck?" He was pointing out her stethascope (sp?).

"Because, Son, she's going to be a doctor," I said very excitedly.

To which he replied, "But girls aren't doctors, they're nurses!!"

Well that just sent a wave of fury through the bra burning crowd. After calming them down, I told them that it was their father's fault and I would have a GOOD talk with him when I get home. That seemed to satisfy them.

However, lets hope my husband survives the day and doesn't receive any unexpectant attacks! LOL
Poor guy, he doesn't even know it's coming!!!

Their Own Language...

I just love the little words that kids use for things. Here are a few of the "words" used around our house and a few old ones from when Bren was a toddler.


Mase's Words:

Tastic - Cactus
Livening Room - Living Room
Pewter - Computer

Jace's Words:

Pee-uh-reena - Ballerina
Wadoo - Water
Titty Tat - Kitty Cat

Bren's Words from Her Toddler Years:

Pissy - Prissy (my poodle)
Afart - Apart (from the Dragon Tales rhyme)

And recently she said "I'm persaded to think so." So Persaded = Persuaded LOL

Also Mase speaks with an S lisp...so his S sound is SH...which is just hilarious. We love to have him say "Sally Sells Sea Shells Down by the Sea Shore". Hee Hee Hee!

My 4th child...Kiko.

Yep, I have a 4th child. Her name is Kiko, and she is 10mths old. She is a true blue "Island Cat"...meaning she was born on the streets of St. Maarten and lived as a stray for the first few weeks of her life until the entire litter was picked up and taken to the shelter. I have to blog about Kiko for two reasons: First, she is the most AWESOME cat in the world (I hated cats until I met her), and second, she is the funniest cat EVER!! Which officially qualifies her story as blog worthy.

We actually went to the shelter to get a small dog. But we had to pass by the kittens to get to the dogs. Well of course my kids had to stop and look and "oooh and ahhhh" over the kittens. Which I can appreciate the cuteness of kittens, just
don't have that "got to have one" feeling in me like I do with dogs.

In the last pin, this absolutely CUTE kitten comes right up and rubs against the cage trying to get us to pet her. My kids went crazy with "I want to pet her!!!" So the lady gets her out...much to my inconvenience...and lets them pet her. Then she hands her to ME....HELLO, don't like cats!! But it was too late...this beautiful little BIG EYED kitten was purring in my arms and she rolled over on her back, exposed her belly with legs spread wide and accepted a belly rub. Oh this girl was really putting on the show! Just then the lady said, "She is the best one of the litter, very friendly, and tomorrow she will be here three months, so she gets the SHOT tomorrow."

Excuse me! Don't try to butter me with "the kitty will die tomorrow" crap!!! Then I looked down and the kitten literally meowed at me....a sweet "please lady, take me home" kinda meow. And my heart melted.

So we brought Kiko home the next day, after a quick operation to make sure she didn't produce more Kiko's. When we got her she was 3 mths old and so tiny....maybe 4 pounds...maybe.

NOW...7mths later....she is a whopping 12 pounds of silly kitty! And the vet told me Friday after her declawing operation (she tried to kill my chihuahua...apparently hates dogs) that she is still growing. WHAT??!!

Anyway, Kiko is so hilarious. This is how she sleeps:





















This is that beautiful face I fell in love with:


















She has super sonic ears and when ever she hears me sweeping, she comes running and slides through the pile that I am sweeping up RE-SPREADING it EVERYWHERE!


















This was what she did the first time we met and her favorite position to get a belly scratch:

















And for some UNKNOWN reason, Bren loves to squish her face and call her George Bush...so this is her George Bush impression...LOL:


















Anyway, this is my cat...my wonderfully goofy and sweet little kitty. She is currently mad because she has no claws, but if she hadn't gone for Daisy's jugular then she might still have them!

And The Guilt Rushed In.

Mase has been in trouble A LOT lately! And he is usually my good kid, so you can imagine my fear of losing him to the dark side as well.

So yesterday he was yelled at for like th 15th time and I can't even count his Time Out adventures! Then at supper last night he was asked to say the prayer....this is how it went:

"Dear Heavenly Father, Thank you for this day and our many blessings. Thank you for the food and help it to be nourishing to our bodies. And please bless our family. And please bless that Mom will always love me even though she thinks that I'm a bad boy. And forgive her for putting me in Time Out so much today..." (then he opens one eye to see that I heard that) "...In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen."

Now how can you stay mad at that???? LOL!

Talk About Timing!

So I was sitting on the potty....the ONLY privacy I get by the way...I actually enjoy potty time because it is MY time. (I also cannot believe I just admitted that!)

Anyway, so I am sitting there, reading, and ALL OF A SUDDEN Bren rushes in, slamming the door open, and as she comes to a sliding stop and I am expecting to hear that something horrible just happened in the living room....

She says, "I have really good news....I just saved a bunch of money on my car insurance by switching to Geico."
And then leaves.

Yes....it is time to buy a lock for the door.

Aha! I have hit the Recorder stage!

And I am NOT happy about it! That's right, Bren is bringing home the Recorder to "practice" (I use that term lightly because it is really to drive me nuts!)

Seriously, I think that is what music teachers have in mind when they send those wretched flute wanna-be's home. They KNOW we will hate it...and you know they probably hate it too, so thought they'd share the feeling with parents. Well how nice is that??? (dripping sarcasm there)

So Bren toots, she tweets, AND she squeeks. Oh I L O V E the squeeks. (again...pure sarcasm here)

Here is a typical song:
Toot, Toot, Tweet, Squeek, "wait I messed up", Toot, Toot, Tweet, Squeek, "GRRR I messed up", Toot, Squeek, "WAIT", Toot, Toot, Squeek, "OH I HATE THIS STUPID THING" (then she storms out of the room and returns once she is calm to START ALL OVER!!!) Oh yes, Ladies and Gentlemen, it goes on and on, like the song that NEVER ends, and the music teacher is somewhere laughing her stupid head off in the silence of her own home! (If only I knew where she lived...)

I can only just sit patiently and wait for the upcoming concert to be over so that the evil little instrument will remain at school where it belongs...well actually I think it belongs in Hell's burning inferno, but I have found I do not always get what I want.

Go Away!

So I had a lady come by to pick up something the other day...she is a priss pot lady, you know the type, puckered lips, looks like they either just sucked a lemon or smelled a fart. Anywho, she came early...grrrr....and I was in the shower so my dh answered the door.

I heard her knock since I had just turned off the shower. I was towel drying off when all of a sudden Mase slams the door open and says:

Mase: Mom, a lady's here and Dad says come here.
Me: I can't tell Dad to give her the bag by the table. (TOWEL SLIPS A LITTLE)
Mase: (LOUDLY) HEY! You have hair on your too too. Why do you have hair on your too too?
Me: Please....Shhhhh....get out......(covering his mouth and towel slipping more)....Mase, shhhhh!
Mase: (muffled by my hand) But why....too too......hair......

I finally got him out and slammed the door shut. Ok, no prob...she probably didn't hear. So later I come out and dh is on the computer. I am in the kitchen starting lunch when he says, "Sooooo, you have hair on your too too?"

I JUST DIED! Because if he heard that....then pinched face lady heard it! Ugh...I just wanna lay down and cry sometimes. *sob* *sniff*

Jace Is Now a Sailor....Compliments of Mom!

I have GOT to watch my mouth more! Here I thought I was doing so much better...I have stopped saying some of my favorite words and was working on the few I have left. But apparently not in time for my beloved three year old.
Ahhh my little nosey, bossy, 3yr old girl! And now I have to add foul mouthed to that list. Ugh! Allow me to share the story with you....CAUTION, bad words ahead!
So we decided to go out to eat as a family tonight...it was such a fun day and we were all in a great mood. We were driving in the car with the windows down, laughing, and a GIANT bus pulls up right beside us and HONKS his stupid horn. Well I had been biting my nails at that time and he scared me when he honked and I bit my finger. So I yelled "thanks JACKASS!" So my 3yr old yells "yeah JACKASS!" Ok...breathe, I know what I did wrong, so I say "honey, momma should NOT have said that, so don't say it anymore." Well she argues a little and I get on to her more but try to blame my own potty mouth for it. She finally decides that she isn't winning this battle and says "Mom, you piss over me!" Which really threw me for a loop, because what in the living hell does THAT mean???? But I calmly ask "honey don't say that word, but what are you trying to say?" And then dh whispers to me, "ummm maybe she is saying you're pissing me off". Ah hah! Yes, I bet that is it! Well she HEARS him.....WHAT IS WITH THE SUPER SONIC EARS ON KIDS THESE DAYS??...and says "yeah Mom you're pissin me off!"
Ok so I get a little tougher and I remind her that soap tastes bad but that is what she is getting if she doesn't stop saying bad words. I am also trying to keep from laughing because she is just mad at me and cussing me out....my 3 YEAR OLD! Kinda cute, in a trailor trash sort of way!
So we continue on our drive, everyone is quiet, and my 3 yr old says "well sh*t!" Well, EVERYONE is laughing now, even my dh, and I am just blown away. Dh keeps saying, "it's YOUR fault!" and laughs more. NOT HELPING HONEY! Ok my little girl is now cussing like a sailor! Perhaps she heard that from me........but HELL, I quit ALLLLL my other vices, and I am working so hard on this one, I am NOT PERFECT, SHUT UP!
But I really do need to work a little harder on my mouth. Otherwise I may have problems when my sweet little 3 yr old starts preschool and the teacher calls me because she just taught the class a few choice FOUR LETTER WORDS!
I can just hear it now "umm, yes, Mrs. L, I know you are going to be very upset about this, but your dd taught the other children how to say jackass today, and well, she wasn't speaking of the donkey type." Geez!

Hmmmm...Not Exactly Honey.

I was playing Catch Phrase with my oldest last night. She loves the challenge even though she doesn't know ALL the words and their meanings.

So we're playin and it's her turn to descibe a word and get me to say it. Here is how it went:

Bren: Ok so it's in your throat!
Me: Trachea!
Bren: No.
Me: Tonsils.
Bren: No.
Me: Hmmmm...voice box?
Bren: No, MOM! (apparently I am ticking her off that I am not answering correctly)
BUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ (times up)
Me: What in the world was it?
Bren: ASPARAGUS!!!!
Me: bwaaaaaahaaaaahaaaahaaahaaaaa
Bren: What? What did I say?
Me: Honey, asparagus is a vegetable, and if it's in your throat you are choking! bwaaahahahaaaa!
Bren: OH! Is that what that says?
Me: (looking at the word) Yep, but you mean esophagus...that IS in your throat.
Bren: Oh......hahahhahahaha

Then DON"T ask me!

Bren and Mase are sitting here drawing together...their favorite past-time. Bren loves to be challenged and said to me, "Challenge me Mom...tell me what to draw. Only make it hard."

Here is how it went...I don't make this stuff up folks...my kids are just this exhausting!

Me: Draw Herbie.
Bren: Mom, that's too hard.
Me: Ok draw Daisy. (our dog)
Bren: No.
Me: Kiko. (our cat)
Bren: Mom...be challenging!
Me: (sighing) Ok, draw our view of the lagoon. (ocean, mountains...should be challenging)
Bren: No, it's dark I can't see it.
Me: Then draw what you think the mountains look like where your aunt and uncle live.
Bren: (SIGHS AT ME!) I'll just surprise you. (and ROLLS HER EYES!)

Where did I go wrong here????

Aha! The wonderful Jace strikes again!!!

So my wonderful little 3yr old comes into the bathroom this evening, while I am standing in my undies (having just gotten out of the shower). She comes up and pats my belly...you know, the bulge that she caused and I cannot get rid of!!!

Anyway, as she pats my bulgey belly, she says: "Mom, your butts on backwards."

Ugh! Why me???

The Conversation from hell...why do I bother??

So I was gonna be a good mom this morning and sat down all cuddled up with my kids and asked them what they would like to have special in their house when we build. Here is how that simple question turned into a fiasco (sigh):

Me: Son you go first.
Mase: I want a ninja turtle castle with the orange night ninja, the red night ninja, the blue night ninja....wait, no I already have the blue night ninja....and...
Bren: (interupting) No! She doesn't mean toys! She means things like doors and hideouts.
Mase: Oh ok then, well I want a darth vador soup. (which means suit but he has a lisp).
Bren: NO NO NO!!
Me: Bren, it's ok. Mase you can have your suit. Ok Jace's turn.
Jace: I want a princess castle with a princess dress.
Bren: NO!!!!!!!! Mom!!!
Me: Bren they don't understand...it's ok.
Bren: Listen to me guys! She means tunnels or secret passageways. Like this, it's my turn, ok... I want a secret room under the stairs that has games in it and is all mine. Then I want a tunnel that goes up and out of it to a tree house.
Mase: Oh YEAH! I want a tunnel out of my room too.
Bren: And my tunnel and Mase's tunnel will connect.
Mase: Cool! (thinking) Can I still have the soup?
Bren: (sighs and falls over exasperated)
Me: (not knowing whether to laugh or shoot myself) Yes son, you can have your soup.